Theories
by SPT
Summary: Does three times count as always?


**Title: Theories**

**Rating: K**

**Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights to Stargate: SG-1 or its characters.**

**Summary: Does three times count as always?**

Sam furrowed her brow trying to remember exactly how she'd ended up in the cell; that muddled confusion and the all-encompassing stiffness were two of the worst things about getting hit with a Zat, or whatever the Ori called their version of the weapon. A second later it all came back to her and she scanned the cell for her fellow captive.

Sure enough, he was sprawled face down against the opposite wall, and he'd been stripped to his boxer-briefs _again_, black this time. Did three times count as always? Her own boots and jacket had been removed, but apparently the Ori had some modesty when it came to women.

She took a minute to check him over for injuries. She assumed he'd been hit with the same type of gun, but he'd still been firing when she'd gone down. While checking him over she caught a glimpse of all the scars he'd acquired in association with SG-1; that bullet wound on his left arm being the newest, and therefore, most vivid. She knew it was a personal source of amusement for him that he set off metal detectors everywhere he went; the mesh cages surrounding several of his vertebrae and the rod and pins in his leg being made of a cobalt-chromium alloy.

"Sam, are you ogling me?" he cracked an eye in her direction. The feel of cold metal on his chest was enough to tell him that he'd lost his clothes, _again._

Sam grinned at him, "sure am."

"Good, at least I didn't lose my clothes for no reason then." He realized that she was still wearing pants and her tank top, life was _so _not fair. "Sam, why do people keep taking them, it's not like I enjoy parading around in nothing but my underwear."

"You sure about that?" She couldn't help but laugh at his growled response. She'd learned a long time ago that when captured by a Goa'uld or the Ori it was best to keep the mood light, because thinking about the fact that they could come in and kill you without hesitation at any second was just not a good thing to dwell on. "Actually, I've got a couple of theories on that. The first one was alternate Teal'c, right?"

"Yeah," Mitchell replied, having no idea where she was going with this.

"See, I think that alternate Teal'c had a pretty massive crush on alternate Mitchell."

"Sam, he beat the hell out of me, _twice_!"

"Ever hear of unresolved sexual tension?" Carter bounced her eyebrows at him, letting that thought sink in a bit. "So basically, he just wanted to enjoy the view like he never could with his Cameron."

Cam shook his head, trying to clear the mental image of Teal'c standing over him with an appraising stare. "Ok, moving on, what about Vala?" He was pretty sure he knew Vala's motivation, but he wanted to hear Sam say it.

"Oh come on, Cam, this one's obvious."

He pouted, "Please Sam, take pity on poor, dumb old me."

"Yeah, dumb like a fox," she snorted. "You forget I'm one of the few people at the SGC that knows you hold two engineering degrees."

"Oh, right. Yeah, don't let that one get around, people might start expecting me to do something besides have fun. So, why'd Vala take my clothes?" He deftly changed the subject.

Sam sighed, she was never going to win with him. "Same as Teal'c, she wanted to enjoy the view of you handcuffed to the bed." Carter to a second to enjoy that mental image herself. Just because she and Cam were best friends didn't mean that she wasn't aware of exactly how good looking he was.

Mitchell waved a hand in Sam's face when it became apparent that she was no longer with him. Receiving no response, he tried snapping his fingers. "Sam, yo, earth to Sam."

Sam snapped back to reality at the sound of his voice, a slight flush creeping up the back of her neck. "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

Cam shook off the fact that she was only _slightly_ embarrassed and returned to their original topic of conversation. "So what about this time? I don't think the Ori take pleasure in 'the view' as you put it, and I don't think they did it for your enjoyment."

"No, I'm sure they're just trying to make us think twice about an escape attempt; the humiliation of running around outside in you underwear and all."

He grinned, "guess they don't know us too well then, do they?" He paused as they both thought back to the days of Air Force Academy hi-jinks. He distinctly remembered seeing Sam running around in her underwear a couple of times, course he (as well as about 50 others) had been in the same state of undress.

Both were brought from their respective day dreams when their cell door opened. They jumped to their feet prepared for a fight, but relaxed in relief when Daniel, Vala, and Teal'c entered the room.

"Heard you guys ran into a little trouble at the power core." Daniel finally had to put a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing loud enough to get them all caught. "Uh, Mitchell-"

"Payback's a bitch, Jackson," Cam had adopted his usual stance of legs slightly spread and arms folded across his chest, he knew it wasn't nearly as intimidating as when he was fully dressed. The look Vala was giving him as she unconsciously chewed her lip, was only a _little_ disconcerting. He'd never be able to look her or Teal'c in the eye again after hearing Sam's theories.

Seeing his discomfort grow, Sam decided to kick it up one more notch by whispering in his ear, "told you so."


End file.
